More Struggles
Growing up, my family attended the Presbyterian Church. My mom had been a Baptist, and my dad grew up Methodist, so I guess this was a compromise. I did all the normal kid-at-church things: nursery, VBS, Sunday School, Wednesday Night Suppers, acolyte, confirmation class, youth group. I really enjoyed my time, and grew to really appreciate the time spent there.
When I went to college, I intended to continue going to church, and even went a few times, but just stopped going. A big part may have been that Sundays was the only time I could sleep past 7 am, especially in the fall (football games on Saturdays). And once you stop going, it's easy for things to stay that way.
My senior year, I met Jackie in my Educational Psychology class. After 6 weeks of dating, I proposed, and she accepted. We were married at her home church in Snellville, St. Matthew's Episcopal Church. It was my first exposure to the Episcopal Church.
We lived in Hazlehurst our first 18 months of marriage, and the Episcopal Church there met on Sunday afternoons at the Catholic Church in town. We went several times, made a few friends, but never really "bought in". When we moved to Macon, in 1988, there were 2 Episcopal Churches in town, but other than getting Stephen baptized, we didn't attend much.
The pattern continued in Athens (my first year teaching in Madison County I drove every day from Snellville for the first half of the year). After Eric was born in 1992, we tried to go again, to Emmanuel Episcopal Church, but Eric cried the entire time in the nursery, and we decided that was too much to handle. We were the occasional goers. After Karyn was born, in 1994, Jackie and I made the conscious decision that we were going to church no matter what, and the way to make that happen was to get involved. I joined the choir, and she volunteered to teach Sunday School for children.
Over the next 5-6 years, we got more involved: We both did VBS (with Jackie being director one year), participated in Forum Groups (we got together with other individuals/couples once a month for 6-8 months, depending on the size of the group), I helped out with youth group and youth Sunday School, we did Wednesday Night Suppers (followed by youth and adult choirs), and I served on the Vestry for a 3-year term. And I was received into the Episcopal Church. Of course my standard joke is that since I grew up Presbyterian, I must have been predestined to be Episcopal!
Things were great, until I had to move to Fitzgerald. We attended a very small church in Fitzgerald, St. Matthew's, but after our friends retired and left, we felt unwelcome, so we started going to St. Anne's Episcopal Church in Tifton, a 40-50 minute drive. Since our kids were youth group age, we would stay in Tifton all day so they could attend on Sunday afternoon. It was a really nice church, and Jackie and I sang in the choir.
Upon moving back to Colbert, we returned to Emmanuel, and resumed our activities. Even though I worked in Greenville 3 hours away, we attended regularly, and I taught Sunday School and worked with the youth group again Sunday evenings. I even sang in the choir, though I was basically sight reading on Sunday mornings, since I couldn't make the Wednesday evening rehearsals. Getting the job at Elbert County really allowed me to relax and enjoy the church more, since I didn't have the stress of having to drive back on Sunday nights. This also allowed Jackie to serve as Children's Christian Formation Director,
When we moved to Camilla, there was a small Episcopal Church, St. Francis, that welcomed us with open arms! Though Jackie was there only a short while, due to having to leave to care for her parents, I stayed active, and attended every weekend I wasn't driving to Dahlonega. I was named to the Mission Council (virtually everyone in the parish was a member), and I was in the rotation to lead Morning Prayer on Sundays. The priest only came once a month, and I ended up being one of her assistants at the altar. I loved that little church, and the people in it, but it has since closed its doors.
When I worked in Savannah, I drove home every weekend. We went to church at a few different churches, but it never felt right. However, I continued to do daily devotions, and Jackie and I prayed together every night, as we have done most of our married lives.
Moving to Hiram, so I could teach at Lithia Springs, exposed us to another church: St. Catherine's Episcopal Church in Marietta. This is a wonderful church, with wonderful people, but I feel a strange sense of disconnect that I haven't ever felt before. The choir is absolutely fabulous, Jackie loves the Catechesis of the Good Shepherd program, and the youth program is fantastic! And yet, the feeling persists. I can't seem to feel a connection with the Holy Spirit like I have in the past. I've tried spending more time in prayer, continuing daily devotionals, etc., but this feels like going through the motions.
Now, I've always believed the old adage, "Act like you want to be, and you will be like you want to act." So I keep "going through the motions" hoping that I can find the connecting thread back to my spiritual life. While the move to Dahlonega will be complete this summer, we still plan to make the hour drive to St. Cat's because of the choir, youth, and Catechesis programs.
This may be similar to my discussion in one of my earlier blogs; I seem to have lost passion for what I have always loved: sports, reading, and now, church. How do I get these back?
Until next time, may your day and your loved ones be blessed!
When I went to college, I intended to continue going to church, and even went a few times, but just stopped going. A big part may have been that Sundays was the only time I could sleep past 7 am, especially in the fall (football games on Saturdays). And once you stop going, it's easy for things to stay that way.
My senior year, I met Jackie in my Educational Psychology class. After 6 weeks of dating, I proposed, and she accepted. We were married at her home church in Snellville, St. Matthew's Episcopal Church. It was my first exposure to the Episcopal Church.
We lived in Hazlehurst our first 18 months of marriage, and the Episcopal Church there met on Sunday afternoons at the Catholic Church in town. We went several times, made a few friends, but never really "bought in". When we moved to Macon, in 1988, there were 2 Episcopal Churches in town, but other than getting Stephen baptized, we didn't attend much.
The pattern continued in Athens (my first year teaching in Madison County I drove every day from Snellville for the first half of the year). After Eric was born in 1992, we tried to go again, to Emmanuel Episcopal Church, but Eric cried the entire time in the nursery, and we decided that was too much to handle. We were the occasional goers. After Karyn was born, in 1994, Jackie and I made the conscious decision that we were going to church no matter what, and the way to make that happen was to get involved. I joined the choir, and she volunteered to teach Sunday School for children.
Over the next 5-6 years, we got more involved: We both did VBS (with Jackie being director one year), participated in Forum Groups (we got together with other individuals/couples once a month for 6-8 months, depending on the size of the group), I helped out with youth group and youth Sunday School, we did Wednesday Night Suppers (followed by youth and adult choirs), and I served on the Vestry for a 3-year term. And I was received into the Episcopal Church. Of course my standard joke is that since I grew up Presbyterian, I must have been predestined to be Episcopal!
Things were great, until I had to move to Fitzgerald. We attended a very small church in Fitzgerald, St. Matthew's, but after our friends retired and left, we felt unwelcome, so we started going to St. Anne's Episcopal Church in Tifton, a 40-50 minute drive. Since our kids were youth group age, we would stay in Tifton all day so they could attend on Sunday afternoon. It was a really nice church, and Jackie and I sang in the choir.
Upon moving back to Colbert, we returned to Emmanuel, and resumed our activities. Even though I worked in Greenville 3 hours away, we attended regularly, and I taught Sunday School and worked with the youth group again Sunday evenings. I even sang in the choir, though I was basically sight reading on Sunday mornings, since I couldn't make the Wednesday evening rehearsals. Getting the job at Elbert County really allowed me to relax and enjoy the church more, since I didn't have the stress of having to drive back on Sunday nights. This also allowed Jackie to serve as Children's Christian Formation Director,
When we moved to Camilla, there was a small Episcopal Church, St. Francis, that welcomed us with open arms! Though Jackie was there only a short while, due to having to leave to care for her parents, I stayed active, and attended every weekend I wasn't driving to Dahlonega. I was named to the Mission Council (virtually everyone in the parish was a member), and I was in the rotation to lead Morning Prayer on Sundays. The priest only came once a month, and I ended up being one of her assistants at the altar. I loved that little church, and the people in it, but it has since closed its doors.
When I worked in Savannah, I drove home every weekend. We went to church at a few different churches, but it never felt right. However, I continued to do daily devotions, and Jackie and I prayed together every night, as we have done most of our married lives.
Moving to Hiram, so I could teach at Lithia Springs, exposed us to another church: St. Catherine's Episcopal Church in Marietta. This is a wonderful church, with wonderful people, but I feel a strange sense of disconnect that I haven't ever felt before. The choir is absolutely fabulous, Jackie loves the Catechesis of the Good Shepherd program, and the youth program is fantastic! And yet, the feeling persists. I can't seem to feel a connection with the Holy Spirit like I have in the past. I've tried spending more time in prayer, continuing daily devotionals, etc., but this feels like going through the motions.
Now, I've always believed the old adage, "Act like you want to be, and you will be like you want to act." So I keep "going through the motions" hoping that I can find the connecting thread back to my spiritual life. While the move to Dahlonega will be complete this summer, we still plan to make the hour drive to St. Cat's because of the choir, youth, and Catechesis programs.
This may be similar to my discussion in one of my earlier blogs; I seem to have lost passion for what I have always loved: sports, reading, and now, church. How do I get these back?
Until next time, may your day and your loved ones be blessed!
Maybe you were destined to be Cathloic. I pass 3 catholic churches weekly to get what I need. I completely understand. We will welcome you at St. Anthony's :)
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